1960s inspire wedding items

Men Are Just Happier People

>
>
> Men Are Just Happier People!
> What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.
> The
> garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate
> is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white
> T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
>
>
> Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never
> have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just
> too icky.
> You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt....
> Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100.
> People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.. New
> shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.. One mood all the time.
> Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
> tanks..
> A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your
> own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
> thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
> be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of
> shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in
> public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on
> your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for
> years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
>
> You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes
> - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your
> legs look.
> You
> can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
> concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25
> relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
> No wonder men are happier!
> NICKNAMES
>
> o If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch,
> they
> will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
>
> o If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will
> affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.
>
>
> EATING OUT
>
> 1.
>
> o When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave, and John
> will
> each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will
> have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change
> back.
>
>
> When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.
>
> MONEY
>
> o A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>
> o A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
> doesn't need but it's on sale.
>
>
> BATHROOMS
>
> o A man has six items in his bathroom:
> toothbrush
> and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
>
> o The average number of items in the typical
> woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than
> 20 of these items.
>
>
> ARGUMENTS
>
> o A woman has the last word in any argument.
>
> o Anything a man says after that is the
> beginning
> of a new argument.
>
>
> DRESSING UP
>
> o A woman will dress up to go shopping, water
> the
> plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
>
> o A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 1960s inspire wedding items
>
>
> NATURAL
>
> o Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
> bed.
>
> o Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
>
> OFFSPRING
>
>
>
> o Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
> children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best
> friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams.
>
> o A man is vaguely aware of some short people
> living in the house.
>
>
> THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
> remembering the same thing!
> So, send this to the women who need to understand .... And to the men
> who will enjoy reading it.
>
> o